Reaction vs. Response
How can we deal in a more mindful way with our triggers? How can we become aware that many times we operate from impulse, from a programmed reaction?
Let's say your manager gives you an unjustified comment on your work, or your spouse/husband starts criticising your spending patterns and you get very upset; you start defending yourself in both situations and add some harsh words to stress your anger.
There is a more mature, peaceful and less dramatic way to deal with this kind of situations which will not only make your daily life more harmonious but also take away the fear of being criticised or rejected.
Instead of reacting instantaneously to the expression of judgment of the other person, PAUSE and REFLECT. Take a deep breath. What exactly is going on here?
Your manager gave expression to a frustration WITHIN HIM of a task not properly executed in his opinion.
there is some truth in his words and the task was not dutyfully executed: no big deal, you made a mistake, you admit and agree to do a better job this time
the comment is unjustified, he is doing a lousy job himself and tries to hide his own weakness by blaming you for the situation: you stay CALM, COMPOSED and SPEAK YOUR TRUTH in a kind way; you stay out of his negative energy, you clarify whatever needs to be clarified but you stay CENTERED; even if he freaks out, just witness it as an expression of his immaturity, fear and powerlessness
Both of these are not reactions but RESPONSES, you chose your response and was not triggered into an impulsive reaction which you might regret later.
Evolving as a human being, going through life with ease and grace, being confident of your worth and value, requires of you that raise in awareness and to become very conscious about your triggers and your power to respond in an entirely different way to these kind of situations.
Drama will vanish out of your life and peace will enter. Being the mature and bigger person will reveal your leadership capacities and will serve you more than you might imagine right now.
So today, I would invite you, whenever you feel triggered, to pause and reflect, to choose a response which will help all those concerned and demine the situation at hand.
Much love, Barbara
