Setting Boundaries as a Form of Self-Kindness
As a caring person, we want to make sure to refresh our empathy towards others, regardless of the fact that some people may not appreciate our conscious efforts.
Therefore it is very important to make sure that our batteries are always charged first before we dedicate our energy and time to the wellbeing of others.
A crucial step to not get mentally exhausted is setting boundaries for people who sap our positive energy.
Here are six ways of setting boundaries which will empower you:
1. Know your boundaries
Many people get hurt because they are not aware of their boundaries. They are unsure where they start and end. Raise your awareness on when you feel that someone is crossing a line which is no longer comfortable for you. In recognizing those moments, the next step is to speak up to the ones that step over your boundaries. It might feel uneasy in the beginning because of the confrontational moment, but once you get used to indicate your boundaries, you will see that others start to respect them. It will save you a lot of worry and heartbreak.
2. Be mindful of the people in your circle
Surround yourself with individuals who value you and are drawn to your positive energy. For effective boundary setting, it is important to keep your distance from people who are always bent on quenching your thirst for success. At moments in my life, I lost, what I considered, good friends because they had difficulties with my growth and kept dissuading me from my plans to bring a message of powerful kindness in the world. They simply could not see how, as an unknown individual in Belgium, I could achieve that. I realized they were only projecting their fears onto me. Ever since I have become very conscious of the people I surround myself with and make sure they are supportive and push me to aim higher.
3. Decrease how often you are available to those who don't value you
Some people, in their quest to help others, are not aware that they do not value their own time and energy enough, especially when the people they are trying to help do not appreciate and value their efforts. You can still be a good person and say no to people who are demanding, dominating and controlling. No one individual has the right to burden you with their negativity over and over again.
4. Refuse to be intimidated by others
Some people may try to always use their positions and status to belittle you in some situations. This could be psychological or emotional. However, it is crucial to know the appropriate channels to use whenever such unwarranted intimidations occur.
5. Be assertive
Many people take assertiveness for rudeness. It is however perfectly possible to be assertive in a kind way. Draw your lines, and let people who try to degenerate your energy know your boundaries. Learn to say "YES" or "NO" to things that don’t sit well with your vision.
6. Read for a deeper understanding to improve your interactions
I have personally lost track of how many books I have read over the years that have contributed to who I am today. Consistent learning has really deepened my insight into many aspects of life that one cannot imagine. Continuous reading provides you with an advantage and control over a variety of situations, which helps you stand out from the crowd. Ignorance, they say, is a disease. Many people endure a lot of unfair treatment from others because they do not have enough knowledge on how to even defend themselves.
Setting boundaries is a form of being kind to yourself. If your purpose is to shine fully in this world, to gift the world with your unique talents, to be a beneficial presence to all those you encounter, it cannot be done without setting boundaries and communicating them clearly.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and never allow that others dim your light!
Much love, Barbara
PS If you want to explore how to adopt a kind, detached and powerful way of living, 'The Path of Powerful Kindness' might be something for you. You can check it out here: https://www.amazon.com/Path-Powerful-Kindness-Return-Humanness/dp/B0CM18MG4M/
